Hug her.

Appreciable Dean.

My name is Victoria Vessels, I am 27 years old, and for almost all my life I lived there in Massachusetts, we grew up together. And, although this letter is not from me, the story is because A, is my friend and I know her.

Alicia Ackerman has been my oldest friend. She was my first. Some days I came to conclusions that she is the only one.

I am writing this letter because her mother ask me, I didn´t want to at the beginning, but she insisted and even begged me, but I accepted not because her mother, I am writing this because a dream of mine after her mother's visit. Alicia's mom didn’t tell me what to write on the letter, however, she did ask me if I could write the letter pretending to be his daughter, in fact she has no clue of wath this letter contain. She told me she thinks I am the person who knows her daughter better and I am not sure of about that, but I can admit that I know her pretty well from all this years of friendship and maybe it isn´t correct to pretend I am other person. Just because I find fraud very insulting for both you and me, I am writing this, but not pretending I am her. I am writing this as Victoria and I hope you take mw words as an honest opinion and within the respect and the value this requires. 

So, there was this random day where I was on my bedroom preparing my favorite tools to draw at school. Downstairs my mom was doing breakfast, then she goes upstairs directly to my room to wake me up, with my eyes close still, she took my hair and asked me what do I wanted to eat. -I remember I was having a crush with maple honey during that time-, so I told her I was on the perfect mood for some pancakes and she left to start all the cooking. I climb down the ladders, directed myself to the table and after a lot of sugar in my blood, she drove me to school. We arrived and I get down the car, before I could walked away she grabbed my arm and told me that later at yoga there was this thing called “mother and son class day”. I felt she was inviting and without hesitation i screamed at her "Yes, of course", I got in the car again, I kiss her on the cheek and then, she left. I enter to my classroom and I remember thinking while I was choosing my seat of the day the awesome and beautiful day i was having, maybe it was the best day I had so far, because of the draws and the pancakes and more important, yoga with mom.

After school, I was ready and already seated at my sofa like four hours before I had to. In the living room you could see a child eating his fingernails and looking at the clock eagerly because she was waiting for her mom. I remember being so excited about yoga because it was going to be the first time I was allowed to do something just grownups do, and it was going to be with mom. [ I always saw her leaving yoga and been told that it is an activity for adults only, the words “that’s why I can’t take you with me”, were said to me constantly after some bullshit explanation of how I will fuck up something ]. She arrived looking so gorgeous after nine death fingernail of mine, when she asked me if I was ready, I nodded, so, we hit yoga class.
I was not able to take my eyes off Alicia Ackerman the first time I meet her.
After a while spending the most awesome afternoon with mom, my eye noticed someone else than her after the most sweet and peaceful voice that I had heard in my life. Of all the people in that room, there was only one person whose soul radiated a particularly sensation immediatly after hearing the voice and seeing the eyes of hers, demanding a certain kind of quick attention, robbing even more looks than the teacher with the most long blond hair that I have seen too... She did the class perfectly that day. I remember like yesterday, she did all the positions without help, so skinny, so beautiful. At some point during class the passed through beyond the window and stayed in her forehead for a couple of seconds, it seemed like a thousands of seconds for me, I swear I thought she was an angel. Then, she laughs and the entirely world laughs with her making the perfect ending to yoga. I thank to the nature, the mother supreme, "Diana, The Hunter" and Gal Gadot for the fact that my mom wave them a ride back home. The moon was doing her appearance and they didn’t have a car, -Now, you might say it was a coincidence, but God said to me once that it was his making in a dream I had two months ago-. I opened the back door for her and at the car, we started to talk and laugh about things I don’t remember anymore... we stopped at this beautiful orange and white house not so far from mine and we said good bye to each other. I remember going to te pizza place thinking: “I need to be friend with her, she is awesome”, best day ever.

But like I told you before, this story is not mine, it is about her. I just wanted to give you some context and share with you, the awesome day I had once during my childhood that ended with me having a best friend. Alicia is the best person I know. She is very kind with others and always has been this way. Every new person that knows her for the first time says similar words than the one before. She has some bright.

    I'll explain...

Her dream is to study and graduate from here, in this institute. Se dedicated all his life pursuing the dream of hers. She continuing say to people that Cambridge is the place to be., even after she knew she was accepted and had just a few days to prepare her university staying, she came to New York, just to tell me she was going to Cambridge, that she couldn't believe it and that she knew very well giant responsibility ahead and all the happiness she shared was indisputably, harmless and full of good will, with all her heart, in plenitude. Our goodbye was soy lovely; we cried a lot and then we dance our song (an established ritual) finishing the evening with a proper hug. I was so genuine happy for her because I know how important Cambridge is for A. 

The day after I met her, she shared with me a story; One day, Alicia and his father went to Cambridge in the middle of the night. He woke Victoria with no particular reason or previous notice, made her wear a dress and he drove her to Cambridge. She said that they stayed there for a long while. She says that his father did not say a word all night; he went there just to contemplate Cambridge. We were close so she took my hand and hold it for the rest of the story: Her father walked around the school calm and silent, Alicia started feeling scared so she started running to hold his hand, after that  she started walking with him by the limits of the institute and far away. Sometimes they were talking about her, other times they were just walking in silence, with no worries and no questions. Then, she take off her hand, turn around to be in front of me and tells me that after hours of walking and talking with his dad, they suddenly arrived at their house by foot, without thinking of doing that. "Dad, we forgot we came by car" she said to him and they started to laugh till they crumble in front of their door in tears. Then she finished with "I went to bed because I wanted to have a dream with dad, I wanted to dream that my dad is taking me to Cambridge for my first day of College".
After the story, she started crying and then she hugged me to whisper to my hear that it was the best night she have had with his father. I was not understanding the situation at all until she said to me that next day, she woke up finding that her father quit her and her family, her mother told her that he took his stuff at night and he said to A's mother that he was never coming back.
Unfortunately for V, that was the last memory with his father, as well. After the story I couldn’t resist no more. I started crying in her shoulder because I felt like I needed to liberate myself from the pain. I gain some courage, cleaned my eyes with a Kleenex and I started walking through the carpet where at the end of it my father was "resting". I looked at him -his photo- and then I sent him a kiss, then I turned around and I gave my speech.
I saw him be buried by false divine death hope and dirt while I was saying goodbye to his picture imagining his body, his face, his smell.

After yoga class, my mom and I decided to go for some well-deserved pizza, I remember thinking giving Alicia my bff card already, wishing for tomorrow play-date we established earlier, I even ordered only cheese because A, told me it was her favorite. My mother gave me a slice and on my first bite my mother’s phone rang. She answered the phone while she was walking to the bathroom, I finished my slice and drank some soda and I continued recapitulating the day I was having: drawing, pancakes, yoga with mom, V and a slice of pizza-. My mom came back to the table during my third slice, she took seat and then she looked directly at my eyes. Immediately after that the tears make their appearance. -We both started crying-. I didn´t knew why I was crying but I felt my mother cry and instantly I started to cry. Next thing I know, me and my mother are in the car and she is still crying, she starts asking god the reasons of his anger at us, she screamed with horror multiple times things that I could not decipher. Then she said: "God, why he needed to go? Why he had to love guns so much? Why are we on war? 

That day, while we were at the pizza place, a high rank soldier told my mom by the phone that my father lost his life during combat. He said my father was fighting for our country and died for us. Then, I understood, there was no body, no rests of him, no mission accomplished.

I did not sleep at all last night, I was at the cemetery resting by a distant tree because I wanted to be far from the people that supposedly knew my father. I didn’t want to be there. My mother said earlier to me that the funeral was going to be symbolic because of the body situation and that I needed to be with her but I was very sad and angry. Suddenly, I recognized my friend Alicia at distance, she was on her way to me. -My friend Alicia noticed through her mom-. I stood up after I saw her and opened my arms for a hug while she started to run when my arms were at their maximum width, so did I. We hugged as magical as it was possible. -I am not able to describe the feeling of the hug. I can´t put words of the feeling, I don’t find words to describe the sensation as pure as it was. I don’t think there are one existing word in any alphabet of any language that goes close enough to describe that hug and its power-. We lay on top of the grass and then she told me to close my eyes, I did and she started asking things about my father; How was he? Did he knew how to cook? Does he loved your mom so much? Do you remember the last time you saw him? -I remember we talked for hours that day-.
After the conversation with A, I felt so calm and very quiet. If you could see me that day, you can’t tell that my dad was a war product a night before and I was at the funeral at that moment. I was talking to Alicia about my dad but at the same time I was feeling like he was still alive, I felt him very close to me. There was a moment were the sun rested in some old tree and I had the sensation of him looking at me. -I have remembered that moment through this days-. Then, our mothers wave their hands saying "come back" and we left the "ritual spot". A few bible's quotes, my mom approached me to say some words to my dad. I saw my dad's picture surrounded by flowers and I started to cry again. It was unavoidable.

Alicia took my hand and carried me to the tree we were before. Saw my eyes, calm me down for a bit and told me a story. The story about her dad and Cambridge. After the story, she told me that his father ran out the next morning. She woke up the next morning of the best day with his dad and turns out that he was not there anymore. He left her without saying goodbye, he abandoned her in that same night. Pour girl.
"At least, yours is dead, mine did not loved me, and he went somewhere far away from me". Those were the words she used to convince me... "You are dead dad, you die for me, and you loved me. Thank you for loving me, even now that you are dead. Mom and I will remember you. I love you too". I finished my speech and i got out of the cemetery. 

We became best friends after the symbolic funeral of my father, we started doing everything together, we grew up counting with each other, she was six and I was nine when my dad left me. With three less years than me, she understood life before me and better, what happen to her happened when she was just a child. My admiration for her as a woman and a friend initiated that day when and it never stopped, not even right know. I describe A, as a woman who is intelligent, mature, kind and strong since she was a little woman. She knew the perfect time I needed her the second day she meet me, when she shares stories with me I reafirm my thoughts about her. I learned when to shut up my mouth thanks to her signs, I became very strong and intelligent because she is my best friend and I grew watching her. After hearing the thing she did, I still believe she is the same girl I meet for the first time that Friday in yoga.

The thing she did is undebatable. Maybe you thing she has no right to be part of your school anymore. She did something wrong and if you believe me, I assure you she regret it.

I visited her a few days before, she told me what happened and I saw the innocence in her eyes. I believed her when I was a little girl and she helped me get out of misery and sadness, I believe her now. The feeling I couldn’t describe before my speech for my dad in his funeral, appear again, but now in her, not with me. I told her about my dream, I told her how important she is to me, I hugged her and then we dance our song, like when we were girls; heart-broken girls doing a crazy ritual to cheer up and love life no matter what.

This day, you are the only person that can help her. Please, reconsider the resection and give her the thing she wants from you the most. She needs a hug and unfortunately this time can’t be from me... It got to be from you.

I do know her, I also strongly believe that she is the most incredible person and she deserves to continue studying here, at Cambridge.

It has been her biggest dream.

Don´t let her go.

Please, hug her.

V.