Fuck (love) you.

Tonight, I have full sensation about this drink in my hand, it is all I need.

I am so jealous of her. One time you are the love of her life, and then, that life last like a flash of lightning. In the last dinner we had in our house everything changed. She ended the connection that we were constructing. She told me that, I was not the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Anymore. She was my lover and my partner of life. Now, she is marring a douchebag.

It happened fast with no recovery from me. -I see you pass with your withe and long dress and I find you very attractive as always-. I am at her beautiful wedding that I couldn’t skip, because both concluded that to continue the relationship as a friend, was the best choice. Fuck me. Of course -for her; friends go to friends weddings. So, here I am, at her wedding. I don’t know other people situation, but I know the exact spots where her moles are, so, when she passes by, I bare her with my imagination. It's her fault. She invited me and she knew that I can´t go back to being just a friend for her. I it insane for me to be here, is insane. For her, is another completely situation. She wanted me here. She just got married and I cannot believe the fact that I am here. I accepted the split. I accepted the decision of breaking up with me. Of course, she did not accepted mine about coming at this wedding. I feel so stupid because I don’t want to be here and I don’t want to be near her anymore. I will leave, after the speech of her sister "Sully", I'll leave. 

I envy her because her and her wedding are beautiful. There is this huge table covered with finish imported flaw, so soft at the touch and they are perfectly combined by colors with the patterns of the wedding they choose. After my third proposal to her, I understood that she did not wanted to get married with me (or a girl). When I met her, she was looking for a lifestyle that I couldn’t give her and I hope he can because she thinks that penises resolve problems, so, yep. This, is the last thing I do for her.

The wedding planers threw an amazing spectacle. The flowers are giving us a splendid welcoming whit its smell. I know she loves flowers, I used to perfume the house with flowers just for her. Somehow, the smell and the colors of the wedding combine perfectly, and I cannot stop reminding the back of her ear. In the place, her sense is all over the place. The cover band is phenomenal, the lead singer is great and I am enjoying the show so far. Damn it, I have to recognize that I love her wedding. Now, she is with someone else, with a man. I finally she why is so happy -kidding-. I love the way she smiles. I loved the way she smiled at me, I can tell her smile now is more penetrant, bigger, shiner. We will call it "because of him: the smile". I’m glad for her but it was a mistake for me, I don’t know why I came. I’m leaving.

I woke up this morning and I did not know if I go to the wedding or not. Finally, I came. I am here. I could not say no to her. After all, I were the first one she told that she was going to get married. "I'm getting married", she said those words, and ten minutes after she finished things with me. Everything started with: “Hey, I need to tell you something important”, and then, she continued with: "I found a guy". But my head exploded when she said: "He is sooooo... right for me. I think I don’t love you anymore. I mean, I do, but not like this. I always knew this was temporary, then, temporarily turned into two beautiful years with you, but things has changed and I hope you can understand”. Of course, I understood. I'm a mature woman and she was not lesbian, so...
At first, I had the feeling of a break up almost daily. When I got tired of that sensation, I decided to bury all for one. So, by our first anniversary, I erased that feeling with love and trust. There was something inside me that never forgot her sexual straightness, but, when it all occurred, when all took place, when it was in front of my eyes, -I can assure you-, and I did not see it coming. I always knew she likes dudes, but I thought she was having a strong feeling for me, I thought she was in love with a woman. 

That bitch!

In the past, she approached and seduced me for the first time. But, “I love you” were words said only by me. I came to the wedding because a few days ago I founded the perfect dress for the evening. The dress was in a little store that I discovered by accident while I was doing chores that day. It is a bit open for myself, but I kicked my body so well last four months that I needed that openness in my backless dress. I also came because I stopped by the salon very early today and Anita did not had problems squeezing me to fix my hair and do my face without reservation. I have green and black tones in my eyelids and she placed some jewelry on my face with glue. I look beautiful tonight - Thank you, Anita-. I know for a fact that I do look awesome because earlier today, I looked at myself in the mirror for a while at my house and I remember seeing an elegant, secure and a lovely woman in front of it. I loved the way I saw myself. I loved that version of me. I think that was the main reason I decided to come to the wedding; the mirror. I'm here, so, she can admire how beautiful I am.

The sister ended her speech and everyone applauded. The bride got up and hugged her sister, then, when she turned her body to seat down again, she localized me and we ended up staring into each other's eyes. After she found me, she sat and after that, she drank her drink. I was drinking mine as well, when suddenly, I saw the glass being raised by her in my direction. Then, she drank the whole thing and kissed me from distance. I freaked out with nerves and the only thing that occurred to me was to look at the kiss and grab it with my hand, so, I did. Then, with her kiss in my hand, I tossed it at the floor and I stepped on it several times, the hardest I could. She saw everything, she took her new husband by the arm and she laughed at me. 

-Cheers! -I said to her in my mind and I finished my drink.

I went home after the speech.

I don't want to meet that bitch again.